The Moments that Touch Us Most

Just a heads up we are back from our trip and I look forward to writing about it in the upcoming week.

Throughout our lives there are moments that touch us, moments that effect they way we live, they things we do, or the future of how we act. For some it is a big event like 9/11 or the Oklahoma City Bombing; for others it is the giving birth to a new life or finding that right person who changes their life forever. These can be big and small, they can be events that most everyone else sees or little things that you may not even realize at first.

The past few days before our little trip Samuel has asked me and then Mommy if "Daddio can have a sleepover" with him. Tonight Samuel asked again but this time added "my best friend Daddio" and Mommy said no because I was going to stay up and work some. I did not hear this but tonight 2 hours later this conversation hit me like a wall of bricks.

For the past 3 years I have partly dedicated my life to raising my boys, as many of you may think that I do a great job at it, it is actually a very hard and exhausting job. In fact there are times when I feel like I am not doing anything right. I have tried to teach Samuel and Andy and build their imagination but all it has turned out to be is me sitting them in front of the TV in the morning while I constantly clean, take care of Asher, check email and Avon stuff and try to wake up until lunch time where I prepare and force my boys to eat while I set my internal clock to count down til nap time.

So many times they have asked me to help them build a Super train track but I answer with "Later" or "Not Right Now." So many times they ask to go play at the park but I give them an excuse that begins with "Asher..." I have lost it and yelled at them for no reason and then tried to cover it up with a no good reason that just leaves them confused. But through all these mistakes I have made they still see me as an amazing person, a great father, someone they want to have a "belly like when they grow up," a miracle worker who can heal boo boos with a kiss, and a best friend.

I have let the world control my thoughts of "being successful" and have forgotten what I have always preached of what "being successful" is. It is not money, it is not a 5 to 9 job that pays well, it is not the car or nice house, it is not a tower of Christmas gifts but instead the job or your family and the happiness from a simple life.

In my eyes I sometimes see a failure because I have not taught Samuel Calculus yet, pushed Andy on his colors, built a super successful business (web hosting, Avon, travel, etc...). But in my boys eyes, the eyes that really count, I am their best friend. Looking back to some lessons I used to teach as a youth minister I remember speaking of being like children is what God wants. What he wants is for us not to think of all the worldly things but to be like children and find joy and happiness in the smallest with no worries over this or that which we have no control. The mirage that hit my life and actions will be no more.

Tonight at 11:50 while sitting on the couch watching "Bed Time Story." Samuel's comment hit me 2 hours after it was said and this little so called insignificant moment which I was not even there for has touched my life. Tonight my life has changed, my focus is changing and Samuel will wake up in the morning to a Daddio having a sleep over with him.